In The Old Man and the Sea, one character struggles a lot through powerful forces and obstacles. That character is Santiago. Poor Santiago is an aged man that is born to be a fisherman. Little does he know that there is a fish out in the sea that will make him go through many obstacles. This fish is not your ordinary fish, this fish has a tremendous amount of patience that the old man doesn’t have. In the end, the old man never gives up catching the fish.
Santiago is a poor man. He struggles to get money and buy food. “Have another coffee. We have credit here.”(27) In this quote it shows that the old man can’t even afford a cup of coffee. Not being able to afford food affects him in many ways. One way is by not having food or water to get stronger; he will be a weak fisherman. Without food or water, there is no chance surviving. On his journey, he was able to catch some albacore and other little fish that kept him full while trying to catch the fish.
Fishing for this Marlin took a lot of strength out of the old man, which made him suffer in many ways. He became weak, he began to cramp all over his body and he ran out of food and water. But the main suffering was cramping. He could barely feel his hands from holding the fishing pole in one position for a long time. “God help me to have the cramp go.”(60) Santiago is at the point he is begging God for help. This goes to show you that Santiago doesn’t give up. He is still striving for what he wants.
Just as Santiago thought the Marlin belonged to him, it sure didn’t.” It was an hour before the first shark hit him.”(100) the Marlin is a gigantic fish that a lot of people would die to have. It could feed many people and sharks. And I guess you could say it did feed many sharks. On his way home, he had to face sharks. He didn’t have the appropriate weapons to do this. He only had a knife, harpoon, ore, little piece of rope and his bare hands. But each time a shark came around, Santiago prepared him self for whatever was coming next. Each shark had taken a piece of the Marlin whether the shark died or not. In the end, he was left with nothing.
To me, Santiago can’t get anymore successful then he has. I mean, I’d like to see someone today go out there on a little paddle boat and sit there chasing a Marlin for a number of days and at the same time try to survive and fight sharks. Also, he had to try to take care of himself. Honestly, I don’t think anyone could do it. That is why I think Santiago is a successful man. Even though he came back with no Marlin, he still came back with unforgettable memories
5 comments:
Sabrina, your essay was very well written, and your thesis statement stood out. it could have had a little better hook to it, but other than that, it was very clear. your first quote really stood out to me, and i felt as though it was a great example to start with. you did a good job with the use of grammar,and the vocabulary usage is very well. One piece of advice I can give to you is make your writing a little stronger, and more detail. Overall, you did a wonderful job writing your essay, and i enjoyed reading it very much. :)
Sabrina,
This was great! I thought that your thesis had to do with the obstacles that were being faced and I thought that it was engaging.
The strongest quote was “Have another coffee. We have credit here.”(27) This explains the point that you are trying to get across.
This essay's strength was it's conclusion. An example from the conclusion is "That is why I think Santiago is a successful man. Even though he came back with no Marlin, he still came back with unforgettable memories."
The advice that I would give is to check your essay over for mistakes-I don't think there were a lot, though. Nice job!
sabrina,
I really lked your essay. Your thesis statement is very clear. MY favorite paragraph is the third one because it is very descrptive and well written.This quote explains the thesis you chose and backed up your paragraph. “God help me to have the cramp go.”(60) The only thing you could mprove on was expanng more on why you chose the quotes to back up each paragraph. Other than that, great job.
Sabrina,
I liked your thesis statement, “In the Old Man and the Sea, one character struggles a lot through powerful forces and obstacles,” because it was short and sweet, and to the point. I also loved the rest of the first paragraph because I totally see you saying it. I think that you integrated the quote from the second paragraph best. “Have another coffee. We have credit here.”(27) Because even though the quote is very short, you still put a lot of supporting details around it. I think that one of the strongest points in your writing was your conclusion because I like how you tied up everything from earlier paragraphs and made it work well. The only thing that I could recommend for next time is to maybe try and add a little bit more details throughout your supporting paragraphs, but other than that, you did a fantastic job! :)
Sabrina,
Your thesis statement, “In the Old Man and the Sea, one character struggles a lot through powerful forces and obstacles,” was written very good. I think that you integrated the quote from the second paragraph best. “Have another coffee. We have credit here.”(27) Because even though the quote is very short, and you still put a lot of supporting details around it. One of the strongest points in your writing was your conclusion. The only thing that I could recommend for next time is to maybe try to add more details throughout your supporting paragraphs.
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