Friday, October 12, 2007

Essay by Tayler H.

As long as I can remember, everyone has always been greedy. All anyone wants is money, and more money. I’ve been taught differently. Instead of obsessing over money and all the small things, I’ve learned to take life as it comes to me. I’ve also learned that there’s so much more than money out there, and that’s not something that’s important to me. Just because people have money, doesn’t mean that they are happy, and I’d so much rather have happiness than money. Instead of money being the most important thing in the world to me, I take the smaller things in, and don’t take anything for granted.

***

The bell rings at 2 o’clock, everyone running and screaming because school is finally out. Everyone’s getting ready to go home, except for my team and me. I’ve been waiting to play soccer all day. I go into the locker room, and I get out all of my equipment. I take out my cleats, untie them, and place them on my feet. The colors red and white blind my eyes more than you can imagine. The stains show from the game before, and they remind me of how hard I played, and how the glory felt after beating our rivals.

I start with changing into shorts and a tee-shirt, wondering if I should put a tank top underneath because it could get very warm outside, and I might be wishing I had a tank top on instead. Rolling my shorts up carefully, evenly, so they’re not down to my knees. Then, I slip on my shin guards, still damp from the sweat they poured out like a rainfall on a Sunday morning. In the last game from working incredibly hard and giving it everything I have. After that I pull clean, fresh smelling socks over my shin guards, and hope that today’s practice is easier than the previous practice. Lastly, I put my right foot into my cleat first, then the left. My cleats are what I admire the most. I love my cleats, and they’re the ones that keep me going when I feel like I can’t go anymore.

***

It was a Wednesday afternoon and we were playing our rivals. The tables have turned, and we beat them last time we were matched up against each other, but that doesn’t mean anything. Anything could happen in this game, and we have to prove ourselves. The game started at three-thirty and we were on our toes from the second the game started to the second the game ended. We came out on top in the first half, with Brianna Tabin getting the first goal, Tayler Hersom with the assist. The first half ended with the South Hadley Tigers winning 2-1. In the second half, Olivia Lauren scored another goal, to put South Hadley up 3-1. We ended up beating our rivals three to one. Winning felt better than anything in the entire world, it felt was like we won the division.

***

My cleats, quite frankly are the most important thing to me. They carry me on and off of the soccer field. The colors red and white cover them, but white overpowers the red, making it hard for them to not get dirty. However, the dirt and the grass stains only show the pain and glory from the game before.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tayler,
I personally thought that your essay was very strong and clear. It is very obvious that you love soccer and your cleats are very cloe in your heart. I felt as though the describtion of the way play soccer was stronger than your describtion of your cleats. I've noticed this in our other classmates essays as well. I think that is the way it is because it is easier to write about a memory then a staionary object. In your value essay, your writing style was very. You wrote your essay as though the reader was your best friend. You didnt try using big words and try to act like something your not. Next time, before you hand in or submit your essay, you might want to fix your grammar usage and spelling. There was a few akward sentences and one very akward paragraph in your essay but it was fine (: nice job Tayler.

<3 katie t.

Anonymous said...

Tayler,
i loved your essay. hahah i was so surprised when i saw my name hahahah it made me laugh. i liked how in you first paragraph you sadi how money is not important and how happiness is worth more. that is so true. And i love how your cleast are what you value the most, casue they combined with you two biggest values soccer and your cleats. Next though you might want to check your grammar, but other than that it was great.

Anonymous said...

Tayler,
I liked your essay a lot! You clearly showed that your cleats and soccer are two things that mean a lot to you. A part of your esasy that was vividly described and I enjoyed a lot, was when you talked about getting ready for soccer and putting your cleats on. I can relate to your essay a lot because we play soccer on the same team and feel the same way towards the sport. Overall, description is a stregth in this essay. I felt like I was right with you the whole time. Advice I would give you is to make sure you seperate the materialist item from the priceless moment a little more. It's easy to mistake them for one another.This essay makes me think about how much I love soccer and value the fact that I am able to play. GOOD JOB :]

Anonymous said...

Tayler, your essay was very well written. It had a very strong effect on me while i was reading about our soccer game. It was alomst like i was reliving the moment. I really can relate to you when you were describing that moment where you were changing into your uniform. You had a few mistakes, but we all do. Nice job tay=)

Anonymous said...

I think this way a very good essay. You showed that your cleats and soccer meant a lot to you. I really liked the information on what you do before a practice or a game. Your introduction and you first paragraph about your cleats were very strong and had a lot of information.
I think that you could have added a little more information towards the end of your essay. Overall it was a very good essay.

Anonymous said...

Tayler,
Your essay was very well written. I enjoyed reading about soccer, because as you know, I used to play. After reading you essay, it makes me want to go back and play again.
I love the way you described you cleats, " They carry me on and off of the soccer field.”
I also love the way you kind of go back and forth through time, describing why your shin guards are wet, “still damp from the sweat they poured out like a rainfall on a Sunday morning.” You make very good comparisons, and I don’t have anything left to criticize. Good job!

Anonymous said...

Tayler, your essay was very well written and strong. I thought you did an awesome job on it. I think you ade it very clear that your cleats are the most valuable thing. I agree with you that people are very greedy these days and it seems that all people care about is money. Your 1st paragraph on the cleats and being in the locker room getting change was the strongest. Only a few mistakes but the essay was still awesome! Good Job!

Anonymous said...

I thought that this was a great essay and you clearly stated that you love your cleats and going to soccer practice. This essay was strongly written and I can tell that you love soccer. This essay is easy to understand and everything is written clearly. I hope that you stick with soccer and you continue to love it. Great essay Tayler!

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed reading Tayler's essay. After finishing this piece, it makes me want to get up and go play soccer. She showed how much she appreciated the sport and how much she loved it. Tayler described everything in her piece. Whether it was her cleats or her dedication , she always used a ton of details to explain herself. I also enjoyed how well Tayler described what she felt throughout her story, even when she was putting on her cleats. This paper was full of excitement and enthusiasm and was very motivating.

Anonymous said...

Tayler, i really liked how you said that started your essay by saying the world is greedy in your topic sentence. and you clearly state that you love soccer and your soccer cleats. you are really good at starting new paragraphs. in your second paragraph i like how you started by saying it was 2 and everyone was leaving. i thought it was very well written. one of your overall strengths to me is deffenitly starting new paragraphs. you know how to grab the readers attention. there isn't really a big thing you need to work on. there were a little bit of wrong grammar and spelling usage but other than that it was very good.

Anonymous said...

Tayler,
I thought your first paragraph was very strong and it was my favortie part. You seem to really live for soccer and it shows through all the description you had. One thing that might make the paper a little better is if you clearified a little more the difference between your memory and your item because they were so similar, it was hard to tell. Other than that, it was a reallly good essay! great job!

Anonymous said...

Tayler
I thought that my favorite part and the strongest part of your essay was the first paragraph. Since you wrote that intro papragraph so well that I had a lot to look forward to for the rest of your essay. Everything in your essay was good I thought that you did a great job,but you might want to read a couple sentences over.
Great Job

Anonymous said...

Dear Tayler,
To me your essay showed a lot of effort and it payed off. It really showed how much you love soccer, and how important your cleats are. One thing I did notice, as did Katie, was that your soccer value was a little more "focused" on, then your cleats, but both seemed to have a lot of good details and description. When I read this, I could totally tell that this was your essay. You may need to work on a little more of word usage though, and a few sentences that don't make much sense, but other then that it was fantastic. Good Job LilT' =]

Anonymous said...

Tayler,
Great job. Your essay had so much description it was like I was right there with you. But, there was not too much description; it was the perfect amount. Your strongest point was when you were putting on your cleats. The way you wrote it was amazing. That was stronger than the description of when your actually playing soccer. If I were to suggest one thing to fix your essay, I would say to make it more obvious on which is the material item, and which is the priceless moment. I think you did a great job on this essay.
--Wes

Anonymous said...

Good essay Tayler. You used really good adjectives and described you cleats well. I liked how you put that happiness is more important than money. You definitely know how to start new paragraphs well. I would say that is one of your strongest points in writing. Overall, it was a very good essay.