Every possession a person owns has a special value. Possessions don’t include just the things you buy; they also include memories, and holiday traditions, a special time of day, or anything else that is important to you in particular, but these possessions are the priceless ones. A person may think that a cell phone is more valuable than spending Christmas Eve with your family, whereas another person will think the opposite. What qualities honestly make something valuable?
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The radio is blaring; the brakes are screeching, people talking, making so much noise in such a small space. When I go to Swampscott for the weekend, it’s a very loud, rambunctious car ride. My favorite part about the trip is when I can get out of the car and be free from noise. My special way of letting everything go, is by walking slowly down to the beach, with the wind blowing lightly in my face, and the salty smell in the air.
I slowly glide down the street, just as the day is winding down, and take some time to collect my thoughts. Sometimes I will bring my dog,
After I walk along the shore, I will find a comfortable rock to sit on, take my journal out and begin to write. I keep special journals that I can pour my thoughts into. I will write about anything that is on my mind; if I am angry, writing it out will make me calm again. Writing about the beach and its beauty is my secret medicine to cleanse my soul. Though, the best part of the experience is about to come.
I look up, and see that the show is about to start, the sky is ablaze with color, it looks like it has been kissed by heaven. I am blinded by the miraculous beauty of the sunset, no other image can compare to the sun as it soars across the sky, whispering goodnight to the ocean and all of its inhabitants. There is an amazing mixture of purples and reds, pinks with blue, yellow and orange. It would be simply impossible to recapture that one moment, where time stands still, and the sky takes over.
My gathering of peace is complete now that I have seen the sun fall asleep. I start on my ten minute walk home as dusk is approaching, so I will not have to walk home in the dark. It is now time to go back and face the world of reality, but I am ready, because I have regained my state of happiness.
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Sprinting up to the net, a white and black blur racing in front of you, that one shot of adrenaline taking over your body, you kick the ball straight past the goalie, and the whistle is blown. This feeling, this sensation of accomplishment, is my own special miracle. Scoring a goal is the one feeling that can make you ecstatic at the same time as being sweaty and exhausted, but the only way to score is with a ball. My soccer ball is extremely important to me because it is the price value of the game that makes my life complete.
Soccer is a sport, which makes it priceless, but there are many other aspects of the sport that cost money-and a lot of it. There are many little things you need to buy to play soccer; socks, shin guards, cleats, shorts, a net, and a user fee. Though, the one thing that is most important to play the game is the ball.
I use a soccer ball everyday for practice with the team, and for practice at home. There are so many things you can do with a soccer ball; there are tricks you can learn and different ways you can kick, pass and shoot it. I love to learn new things with my soccer ball and discover a new trick everyday.
Soccer is a major part of my life and it is my passion to become an outstanding soccer player. I need to persevere through the hard times, and push myself to do things that I didn’t think I could. If I aspire achievement, then I must create goals for myself, and make sure that I accomplish them. My current goals for soccer are to juggle a soccer ball 30 times without stopping, and to do a perfect rainbow.
I have two soccer balls, one of them is blue and gray, and this is the one that bought with my own money. This is my lucky ball because I trained for try-outs all summer long with it and then made Junior Varsity. I also have another soccer ball, which my coach gave to me, and this one is special because I have to take care of it and be careful not to lose it. There are other people who had this ball before me, and it has all different colors and shapes colored on it with markers. I like this ball because I was allowed to color it and show my personality with it.
How can watching the sunset on the beach and a soccer ball possibly be similar? Well, to me they are very similar, yet very different at the same time. Watching the sunset on the beach is an incredible memory to cherish, and I appreciate the entire experience, which proves that this is something that I value greatly. A soccer ball brings the sport that I love to life and makes it possible to play, which is why I also greatly value a soccer ball.
You can’t put a price on my peaceful walk to the beach, because that is not something anyone can buy in a store, or capture by a camera. It is the memory and passion that holds its true value. Therefore, even though it is possible to buy a soccer ball in a store, it also holds the priceless values of memories and passion. When you buy a soccer ball it comes with a satisfaction guarantee, but what the sales representative doesn’t know is that for a girl who is in love with the sport, a soccer ball also comes with a guarantee of the pleasure to be able to play soccer.
I realize now that everything I value most has a single idea in common: to let me explore something new, to dive into a world filled with wonders that is just waiting to be discovered. My soccer ball brings me to a world of soccer, athleticism, perseverance, and stalwart; a world which amazes me greatly. However, my beach walks carry me into world of new wonders and beauty, a place where I can go to relax and settle into an endless ocean of calmness and peace of mind. In the end, the real reason I value these things is that they both make me purely happy and content.
9 comments:
Hey Melanie,
I thought that your essay was well written and very descriptive. The way you described the beach was incredible and I could feel like I was there. The soccer ball part was well written too. Pushing yourself to the limit is hard to do, so good job.
I liked your concluding paragraphs because they sounded much better than mine. Plus, they expressed your emotions well. Your honesty about soccer costing a lot was great because it’s true. I think you did a great job on your essay and it flowed nicely so that the reader doesn’t get bored. I’d give you an A.
When i read this, in mind i saw the picture of the beach. You made it sound so peaceful and serene that i felt like i was there. You described it perfectly and it was a clear vivid image. Now i really want to go to the beach. I also really enjoyed how you described the sunset. Even though i couldn't see it, it sounded really beautiful. Another thing i enjoyed was the way you described the moment when scoring a goal was really decriptive. I liked how you could get the feeling yourself.
Mel,
I absolutely love your essay! You were so descriptive and you helped me, as the reader, feel like I was there with you. After reading your essay, I believe that what you value most is your alone time. At the beach, you're free to be alone with your thoughts and do whatever you want to do to wind down and relax. With your soccer ball, you are able to push yourself beyond your limits and make yourself the best you can be. Taking that time out from your very busy schedule to be with yourself was expressed in your essay. I think your strongest description was about the beach at sunset. Your descriptions were so precise and it painted a picture in my mind. That paragraph, in my opinion was your best paragraph. I don’t really have any advice for your next essay, but to keep doing what you’re doing because it is working very well for you.
Hey Mel :)
I abosolutely loved your essay!!!! I think you described the beach and soccer perfectly. My faveorite part was when you talked about the beach. It brought back a lot of memories and makes me cherish it even more.
Your whole essay was really strong! I think you did amazingly, but just don't go overboard with detail. Overall, job well done and keep it uppp! :)
Hey Mel,
Wow. I honestly didn't know that you could write that well. Every single word went towards painting a picture in my mind. I think that it is great that you value the sunset on a beach and your soccer ball. I liked how even though they seem nothing alike, you were able to make a connection between the two based on how you felt about them. I felt that while both of these values were very well described, the description of the sunset was more vivid. I loved how you came up with ways of describing it that I never could have thought of, and were uncommon, but fit perfectly.
I think that an overall strength of your essay was vocabulary. I don't think that you repeated one adjective, and you definitely chose words that vividly described your value, and got your point across to the reader. Your essay also flowed very well, and I couldn't think of a single way to make your organization better. Next time, you could try to change up the lengths of the sentences to further keep the reader interested in what you are going to say next. Overall this was an AMAZING essay.
Mel,
I love that you combined two things that no one else, including me, would have thought of combining. The sunset, and soccer. I think that you described both of your items very vividly, but I would have to say that the sunset set a better impression.
I think that your concluding paragraph was the strongest. It left me with a bang. It left me saying, "Wow, I really want to go and play soccer." A little piece of advice I would give you is to not go into too much detail. Other than that, great job.
Tessa,
Wow, I really like your essay. I love how you talked about something that coasted a lot of money, but than switched to something that you couldnt bye. That one ended up being the strongest thing you talked about. I think that the strongest part on your essay was when you used the quote saying, "Lacrosse sticks break and families don't." I thought it was a very good quote to use.
I think that the strength in your essay was how it was written. In your intro paragraph I thought that I had to keep on reading. It got me hooked. A little advice I would give you is to talk less about brands and talk more about how you value your sticks. Good job!
Meghan,
I thought your essay was wicked good. You seem to value your glove and dancing. I could see how much your objects meant to you. You described your items perfectly. I think you described both of your items the same. When I read both I could see a picture forming in my mind. It was great.
The strength of the essay was definitley your word choice. I didnt know what any of the words meant, but when you set them up with the context clues I could see why you used them. I was impressed. You dont need any advice. Your essay is great.
Mel!! I loved your essay!! It was very well written and descriptive. I love how you describe the beach, it's amazing. It gives such a vibrant mental picture. I like how you desribed the ocean as a ocean of wonders, or something like that. You desribed soccer with just as much energy as you were really playing it. It made me want to just get up and run or something. The way you desribed everything was almost like a poem. You could definately turn that into a poem if you wanted to. So, good desriptions.
The whole entire essay flowed really nicely. I think you conclusion really summed things up. It was a whole lot better then mine. I think the best part was the descritive paragraphs. If you had to fix one part, I would focus on the introduction. But there is not much that you can fix even there. Amazing job!!
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