It all happened so fast… the big truck, the blaring horns, the blinding headlights, and the ear-splitting sound of screeching breaks. The drunken truck driver was driving too fast and soon lost control of the wheel. The truck sped up and rear-ended the little car in front of him. The driver, who was in the car, wasn’t wearing her seatbelt, and was thrown through the windshield, head-first. Her mangled body lay in the middle of the road, motionless. She was my best friend, Serena.
All of my thoughts had swarmed in my head, like angry bees after the scent of honey. My head had throbbed, and I felt as if I were going to pass out. No. I knew I had to stay awake. I needed to know if she was going to be okay. I had sat there, in the ER, for what seemed like forever, just staring at the blank, white walls. Just when I was about to doze off, I’d heard a voice. It was a soft voice, the kind of soothing tone that was meant to comfort. Then, I’d heard my heart pounding hard in my ears. I’d looked up and knew. It was written all over her apologetic face.
● ● ●
One month later
“Starr, come out of your room and get some fresh air,” my mother sang out from behind my closed door.
“I don’t feel like it,” I called in an annoyed voice.
I hadn’t felt like doing anything for the past month, not since the accident. I just couldn’t get over what happened to Serena. The images haunted me every day. The sadness, mixed with anger and rage, swelled up inside my chest, refusing to leave. I couldn’t get rid of it. My only friend was gone.
“Starr,” my father called, “come out here. We have a surprise for you.”
“Commminggg,” I groaned as I rolled out of bed, passing by the mirror hanging on my wall. My hair was a big, brown mess, I had bags beneath my glossy, green eyes, and my already pale face was flushed. I looked so weak that I didn’t recognize myself.
I opened my door, and there stood my mom and dad wearing these goofy grins across their faces. Dad was holding something that I did not recognize at first. It sat in the palm of my father’s hand, looking like a small rat. But, no, it was a puppy; a cute, little puppy. I was beginning to get excited when the fact hit me - my parents were trying to replace Serena. With what? A dog. Nothing could replace her – nothing! I suddenly became filled with anger.
“You can’t replace her!” I screamed and slammed my door.
No one understood.
It isn’t that bad staying in my room all the time because it’s so nice. Before Serena had died, she helped me redecorate it. My walls are painted a soft lilac that is just barely visible under all the posters of different bands that are taped to my walls. I have a polished, wood floor with a carpet to complement the walls. My bed is a bunk bed. The top was meant for Serena when she slept over. There is a full bathroom branching off from my room. It is equipped with a shower and the usual things found in a bathroom. There is also a small, wooden desk and a big book shelf full of books to read.
My mood continued to stay dull, but my mind was on over-drive every minute of every day. My mom and dad kept trying to make me happy, to will me out of my room, but it didn’t work. I would not go near the dog. She was just another part of my life that I pushed away, and chose to block out. I didn’t sleep well, and if it wasn’t for the food my mother delivered to my door, I wouldn’t have eaten, either. This all went on until one day something miraculous happened.
I opened my door to get my food, as usual, and closed it. I was so preoccupied that I didn’t notice that the puppy had slipped in through my door. So, when I turned around, there she was, sitting on the small rug of my wooden floor. She just sat there, wagging her little tail and looking up at me. I cautiously crept over to her and gently pet her head. Her fir felt like silk, and was entirely brown. As I pet her, she licked my hand.
I sat there petting the puppy for hours. She actually made me feel better. I was happy. All the while that I was petting her, I didn’t think about what had happened. This was so amazing.
What should I name her? I pondered this to myself. Then it came to me. I’ll name her Serena, in honor of my best friend. By doing this I won’t be replacing Serena, but keeping her memory alive. Serena, herself, will never be forgotten.
5 comments:
When I read your story I felt a little sad for the main character because she lost her best friend. I never personally felt that but this story has great descriptions and i feel as if I'm there. I liked how you really made the story personal and realistic. You showed how your character develpoed over time and changed her attitude.
At first she was apprehensive about keeping the dog because she felt as if her parents were trying to replace Serena. I liked the way you evolved your character. my favorite part was when she warmed up to the puppy and named her after Serena so that her memory would live on.
I think that the best part of this story is the descriptions used in it. that makes it really good. I don't really know what you could have changed it seemed pretty good to me. Good Job!
Danielle, I really like your story. I've heard that when people bring animals into hospitals the patients feel better. They're happy to see the cute little animals and they forget about the pain.
Starr was really depressed, (understandably) and she just wanted to block out the whole world, and it was making her sicker and weaker and I think that if she didn't have the puppy it would've gotten much worse, so it's a good thing that Starr changed. My favorite part of the story was where she kind of opened up her eyes, in both senses of the word, and realized, hey there are still some good things in the world, like this cute little puppy. "I was so preoccupied that I didn’t notice that the puppy had slipped in through my door."
I think that the best quality of this story is how easy it is to visualize happening. Everyone has lost or will lose someone close to them and at first it seems as though the world is coming to an end, and it seems as though you forget about all of life's simple pleasures and the things you used to enjoy doing.
I thought it was really good, I don't think there's much you can improve on, I though I felt it ended kind of abruptly.
I loved this story. I love stories about life and death. This story shows the death of one person, but the life of a puppy. Also, a new life for the person who lost their friend. I know what it's like to lose your best friend, and it isn't an easy thing to do. I still can't think about it, and it's been almost a year. Death is only a part of life. The ending of your life long journey. It's not always easy to get over though, and I can understand how this person would feel. I loved this story!!!!!!
daniella that was a really great story. i felt very sad wheni heard that it was her best friend who died. i guess its pretty hard to lose a close friend. but when she got that puppy i felt a little happier for her. i could picture how the pup looked like (well cause you a pic look a like).
i could see that your character did change over time. she seemed quite angry with her parents when they got her that puppy. cause she thought they were trying to replace serena with it. but then she figured out that it was suppose to be reminder of her. i gld that her parents got her that puppy cause who knows maybe she would have stayed locked in her room forever.
well, my favorit epart of your story would be....probably your description. you had great describing words and i could see the story playing in my head it was great. i think your story was a well thought out story so there's really nothing for you to fix about it. good job
Very inspirational story Danielle. Depressing in the beginning, and joyful in the end. The story is well made, and created with care. The main character has an internal conflict, and changes overtime. Her mood changes from a negative in the beginning, to a positive at the very end. There wouldn’t even be a story if the main character didn’t change. The story’s best quality is how well the description is paid attention to detail and descriptions. There is no advice for the story, it is very good.
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