“What should I do?” Sarah yelled at Lisa.
Sarah and Lisa were sprawled out on Sarah’s bed. Sarah has been dating her boyfriend Adam for two months and feels it has been long enough. The summer was coming and she wanted freedom. She liked him a lot, but he was acting really weird lately and she was getting sick of it. She had to let him down easy, but how do you do that without hurting someone? So, Sarah decided to consult her best friend Lisa for advice.
“Just tell him the truth.” Lisa advised.
“Yeah, but the truth hurts and I do not want to hurt him.” Sarah said.
Sarah realized that Lisa was not going to be any help after spending hours on the subject and getting no where. She was on her own. She felt best the to use the excuse, “my parents don’t want me to date anymore” so this way it will seem that she still wants a relationship, but she can’t have one.
The next day Sarah and Adam went to the movies. It was awkward. Every time Adam tried to kiss her she ducked or coughed to avoid it. When the movie was over they went for pizza.
“We need to talk.” Adam said.
This was great! Sarah thought he might just dump her first, which would make things so much easier.
“Ok.” She said.
“Well, I didn’t want to tell you this, but I feel you have the right to know.”
“Know what?” She said like she had no idea what he was going to say.
“That I have cancer.”
For what seemed like hours she sat there just starring at him. This couldn’t be true. He was supposed to dump her and that would be it. For the rest of the night they were silent and when he dropped her off she couldn’t even look at him. It just didn’t make sense.
As soon as she got home she lied in bed silent for a while. Then the phone rang and it was Lisa.
“How did it go?” She asked.
“I couldn’t do it.” Sarah said
“Well why not? You had your heart set on it a few hours ago.”
“Lisa, he has cancer.”
For quite some time Lisa consoled her and told her that she did the right thing, but Sarah felt like she didn’t. Should she stay with him because he’s sick or should she dump a person with cancer? It was a really tough decision and Sarah thought best she should leave things the way they are and take some time to think about it. One thing was for sure and that was that for the time being she should make things alright with Adam.
The next day she called Adam and said they should talk.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted I just was confused and scared.” Sarah told Adam once they were alone.
“That’s ok I mean it was a lot to put on you. I’m sorry for being so distant lately it’s just that my mind has been a little scattered.” He said.
Sarah decided to just enjoy herself. They did things like they used to and they were really having a great time. They seemed to spend all there time together. A week had passed and Sarah was having such a great time she completely forgot that Adam was even sick. Until one day at lunch she noticed something different.
“Did you get a hair cut?” Sarah asked lifting up the side of his hat.
“Actually I did since it was starting to fall out anyway I figured I would just get it over with.” Adam said.
“Oh.” Sarah said as she began to remember everything.
That night Adam made Sarah a romantic dinner at his house since his parents were away. Ever since Sarah learned that Adam was sick they seemed to be having the best time together. They spent all hours of the day together and seemed inseparable. Sarah even had thoughts of the future with Adam. One night at around eleven Sarah received a phone call from
“Is he all right? What happened?” Sarah said looking like she was about to cry.
“On his way to bed he fell. The doctor said the cancer has spread to his legs.” Mary said as she burst into tears.
“But he’ll be ok. Right?” Sarah begged, but Mary just stayed quiet.
Sarah then began to burst into tears. She stayed there hugging Mary for a while until the doctor came out and said Adam can have visitors. Mary went in first and then Sarah. Adam seemed fine, just a little tired. She couldn’t help but cry every time she thought of him.
Every day the cancer was getting worse and worse, and they stopped the chemo. Every day Sarah brought him flowers and stayed with him for hours. She stayed strong for him, but it was getting harder.
Three weeks later Adam passed. Sarah really loved him and was happy for the time they did have together. She knew she would remember him for the rest of her life.
7 comments:
Melissa-
When I read your story, it made me really sad. I had a family member pass from cancer and it reminded me of how hard it was to deal with it. You did a really nice job of making your character go through a change. At first, she was sort of childish and naiive but then she matured and that was a good quality to emphasize. My favorite part was when Sarah realized that she did really like him and wanted to be with him more. It made the story a lot happier knowing that she loved him back. My favorite line was " Every time Adam tried to kiss her she ducked or coughed to avoid it." because I thought it was pretty funny that you made her come up with exscuses to not kiss her boyfriend. I think the best quality was that it reminded me of a tv show. Lots of drama and also a little humerous. One thing that I have a suggestion on is that I think you could have incorperated a little more vocabulary into your story but it was a great read!
Melissa O.
When I was reading your story I was both happy and sad. I was happy that Sarah actually did love Adam. Then I was sad that Adam died of cancer. The story made me think about how nothing could stop someone from loving another.
The main character changes by thinking that she doesn’t like Adam and then at the story realizing her true feelings for him. This really helped out the story because if she didn’t then the story would have just ended weirdly.
My favorite part of the story was when Sarah realized her love for Adam.
I think that the tails best quality is the imagery. When I was reading it was like I was watching the TV. I could see everything happening.
One piece of advice I would give is to use stronger vocabulary. It would have made the story more emphasized. Good Job!!!
Melissa,
I loved your story. It was awesome. My favorite part was when Sarah found out her boyfriend had cancer, when she was just about to break up with him. It was kind of shocking actually. I didn’t imagine that happening in this story. One thing I remember well is their conversation at the movie theater.
I think that Sarah had become a much stronger and most aware how people feel. Also she had become to realize that making excuses is not the right thing to do. That you need to be open to anything as well.
After reading the story you wrote, I felt really bad about what happened to Sarah’s boyfriend. I also felt bad for Sarah because they had finally become really close and then he ends up getting hospitalized and then ends up dieing.
The next day Sarah and Adam went to the movies. It was awkward. Every time Adam tried to kiss her she ducked or coughed to avoid it. When the movie was over they went for pizza. That was my favorite passage because I thought it was kind of funny, and added a little bit of humor into your story, even thought it was so sad.
I think over all you did a great job, but you could add a little more detail into your tory next time.
Melissa, your story was really sad and i felt bad when i was reading it. I thought you did a great job writing it. Your character changes a lot, in the beginning she was very self-centered. But as the story goes on she grows up and is more mature about Adam. My favorite part of the story was when She realized that she really did care about Adam and was going to make the best of the situation. "The next day Sarah and Adam went to the movies. It was awkward. Every time Adam tried to kiss her she ducked or coughed to avoid it" I liked this quote because i thought it was funny and i could picture someone who was on a bad date doing this. One advice for the future is i would add a little more detail about how the main character was feeling and their emotions. Overall I thought you did a wonderful job.
Melissa,
This story was so cute, even though it has a really sad ending. To me your story was really realistic which made it a lot more fun to read. I was so sad when I heard that Adam had cancer, I really didn't expect that. At first I thought she would just stay with him because he was sick but over time I'm glad she realized she loved him. I think that this was the way your character change. At first she doesn't really like him, and she's kind of just staying with him out of pity, but then she realizes she loves him, and that's the reason she stay's with him. My favorite line was, "Every day Sarah brought him flowers and stayed with him for hours. She stayed strong for him, but it was getting harder." I liked this because it shows you how far someone in love will go for that other person. The best quality of this story was how realistic it was, I could actually picture this happening to someone. One thing I would suggest for next time is to try and use vocabulary that is "out of the box." I loveddddd your story, and I think you did an amazing job!!!!
Melissa,
After reading your story it made me realize how hard it must be to be in love with someone who is very sick, and has a high potential of not living for much longer. It made me think of my grandma, and how I don't know how much longer she's going to be here because of her cancer, but I just have to live life to the fullest now while i still have her. The main character definitely changes from not being sure that she loves her boyfriend, to realizing how much he actually means to her. My favorite part of the story was when you could really tell how her feelings changes towards Adam. "Every day Sarah brought him flowers and stayed with him for hours. She stayed strong for him, but it was getting harder." I feel like this quote really explains her feelings towards Adam. The best quality of this is imagery. You can really see Sarah's feelings towards Adam, and you can tell how hard it is for her to just sit and watch her boyfriend slowly slipping away, and knowing she can do absolutely nothing about it. The only advice i could give you is to tie a little stronger vocabulary into your writing. great job melissa!
Melissa,
After I read your story, I felt very sad. I can relate to it because several years ago, my grandmother passed away, so I know how Sarah was feeling. I think that your story did go through a change because in the beginning, she was ready to dump Adam, and then she found out he had cancer, so she stayed with and their relationship became stronger and better.
My favorite part of the story was when you were describing how Sarah and Adams relationship became stronger after he told her his secret. “Ever since Sarah learned that Adam was sick they seemed to be having the best time together. They spent all hours of the day together and seemed inseparable.” I love this line because it describes how Sarah was feeling perfectly.
Overall, I think that your story was really good. It kept me interested the entire time and the image of cancer stuck in my mid for a while. One thing to maybe try for next time is to make your conclusion a little bit longer because seemed to end very abruptly. Other than that, your story was really great and I liked it a lot!
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