Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Return of David Stone by Chloe S.


The sun slipped lazily beneath the horizon as Jim Stone strolled across the town common. He was out for a walk that evening, like every other evening. The air was fresh and a soft breeze whistled by his face. Faded golden light bathed the area around him. Times like these were, in Jim’s opinion, the best times in the world. When the earth seemed to stand still and everything was silent. Until the silence was shattered by a man’s voice.

“Excuse me sir!”

Jim turned to see who had called out to him. It was a young man, maybe twenty, with dark hair and eyes.

“Yes?” Jim squinted at him through the sun’s rays. The young guy laughed and opened his arms wide.

“What? Don’t you recognize me?”

In truth, Jim did recognize him, he had from the beginning, but he didn’t want to.

“What are you doing here David?”

The man put his arms down and shifted uneasily on his feet.

“I can’t visit my own father?”

Jim glared at him for a moment.

“Three whole years,” he replied through gritted teeth. “Three years without a phone call, a letter. You really expect me to welcome you like nothing happened?”

David glared back.

“I came here because I wanted to apologize. I wanted to see you.”

There was a long pause. Then Jim spoke slowly.

“Well. Here I am.”

David laughed again.

“Aren’t you even going to let me see the old house?”

Jim sighed. He was still angry.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

They turned and began to walk the way home. The leaves crinkling beneath their feet were the only noise that could be heard, neither of them was talking. Then David cleared his throat and said,

“I’ve been in Wyoming, working on a ranch.” Jim did not acknowledge him. David picked at his fingernails and continued.

“I wasn’t alone, I had friends.”

The silence continued. They arrived at Jim’s old brown house, with peeling paint and a dead front porch that looked as if it were going to cave in. Jim half wished that he’d fixed it up a little, just so he wouldn’t seem so pathetic. But then he remembered that he was angry at David, and didn’t really care what his son thought of the home he’d abandoned three years ago.

“Looks exactly the same.” David remarked, kicking dirt between his feet.

They went inside. Jim watched the news as David explored the rooms he’d once lived in. David could sense the anger from his father, and was leaving him alone. Jim didn’t know what to do with the situation. Part of him wanted to forget the past three years, but the rest of him knew that he would never forget.

He flipped to a different channel in time to see something about a murder case. A man had been killed in a fight in Wyoming, in the town where David had been living the past three years. There was one suspect. He was twenty years of age and had dark hair and eyes. Jim turned quickly to the stairs and saw David standing there just as the reporter on television said, “The suspect’s name is David Stone. If anyone sees David Stone of Wyoming, please alert the authorities.”

Jim gaped wordlessly at David for a moment. Then he said in a hoarse, strangled voice,

“What did you do?”

“Hold on.” David held up his hands. “Hold on, okay? It was an accident. He attacked me. I was just defending myself. But he had a lot of friends. Okay?”

“No it’s not okay!” Jim yelled, clenching his fists. “Do you understand that you are wanted for murder?!”

“Of course I do!” David yelled right back. It sounded just like old times.

“Is the only reason you came back here because you wanted me to hide you? Because I can’t do that.”

As soon as Jim had spoken these words, there was a knock at the door. Jim and David froze. It was terrifyingly silent for a moment, then Jim breathed,

“Get upstairs.”

David backed up the stairs as Jim went to the door and opened it. Two men in suits were standing there.

“Jim Stone?”

Jim nodded slowly.

“We’re detectives, here looking for your son David. He is a major suspect in a Wyoming murder case. Have you seen or heard from him?”

Jim regarded them blankly. There was a lengthy, quiet pause. Then he said,

“I haven’t seen David in three years.”

Later, long after the detectives were gone, Jim went upstairs to find David sitting hunched over on his bed, face in his hands. Jim sighed.

“I think I might help you.”

David looked up sharply.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve decided to forgive you.”

David said nothing for a moment. Then he smiled sadly.

“Thanks. But there’s only one way that you can help me.”

So they went outside, and got in the car, and drove for a while. And then stopped.

Facing forward, with his hands gripping the steering wheel, Jim said,

“You don’t have to do this. I could bring you anywhere else.” He watched the wind ripple across the trees.

“I know.” David still had the sad smile on his face. “But I do have to do this.”

He got out of the car and closed the door. Jim drove off and looked back only once. David had been waving. Then, he’d turned and walked slowly up the police station steps.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

chloeee,
wow your story put me in shock, I didn't understand why the son would jsut suddenly come back, but I understand that now. I like how interesting your story was, one second I though it was going in one direction and the next second the guy's a murderer! I think that Jim changed because at first he was mad at his son, and didn't want to forgive him, but he comes around and helps him out. David changed from just hiding from the fact that he had killed someone, and then he realizes the right thing to do is to go to the police and turn himself in. My favorite part of the story is when you find out that David is a murderer, my jaw dropped.One thing I would suggest to make the story better is in the beginning have the dad question his son more, on why he suddenly came back.your story was GREAT!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Chlo,
I love your story! Once again you did something perfect. I really liked how you ended it because I didn’t expect it to end that way. The main character was angry at his son in the beginning, then even angrier, but then decides to help. I thought the father was going to drop him off at a bus station or something, but it was really the police station.
My favorite part of the story was where the father dropped him off at the police station because it was unexpected. This part was the resolution. “He got out of the car and closed the door. Jim drove off and looked back only once. David had been waving. Then, he’d turned and walked slowly up the police station steps.” I chose this quote because it was my favorite part and it was a surprise. The resolution was the best quality of the story.

Anonymous said...

Chloe:)
I liked your story a lot because you covered a serious conflict in only a few paragraghs. Your descriptive writing made me feel bad for David. He seemed so innocent although he committed a mayjor crime. It made me think how one mistake can change your life forever. Even though David did it out of defense, he could face years in prison.
In the beginning of the story David is cowardly because he didn't want to take responsibility for his action. He went to his father hoping he could bail him out of the crime he had done. In the end David did the right thing by turning himself into the police. He was ready to take responsibility and it was a tough decision for him to make. My favorite part of the story was when Jim decided to forgive David.
"Later, long after the detectives were gone, Jim went upstairs to find David sitting hunched over on his bed, face in his hands. Jim sighed. 'I think I might help you.'
David looked up sharply. 'Why?'
'Because I’ve decided to forgive you.'”
I liked this quote because Jim decided to step up and forgive his son.
I think the best part of your story is the dialouge. It was an important part of your story and you mastered it.
Great job!

Anonymous said...

Chloe:)
I liked your story a lot because you covered a serious conflict in only a few paragraghs. Your descriptive writing made me feel bad for David. He seemed so innocent although he committed a mayjor crime. It made me think how one mistake can change your life forever. Even though David did it out of defense, he could face years in prison.
In the beginning of the story David is cowardly because he didn't want to take responsibility for his action. He went to his father hoping he could bail him out of the crime he had done. In the end David did the right thing by turning himself into the police. He was ready to take responsibility and it was a tough decision for him to make. My favorite part of the story was when Jim decided to forgive David.
"Later, long after the detectives were gone, Jim went upstairs to find David sitting hunched over on his bed, face in his hands. Jim sighed. 'I think I might help you.'
David looked up sharply. 'Why?'
'Because I’ve decided to forgive you.'”
I liked this quote because Jim decided to step up and forgive his son.
I think the best part of your story is the dialouge. It was an important part of your story and you mastered it.
Great job!